Wednesday, 22 July 2015

Mother vs Mother




Today's post is on comparing your life to another mothers.


When it comes to looking through my Facebook, Instagram or Twitter I often find myself being nosy at other mums profiles. I like to see what they have been up to, what's going on and who is doing what. I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one who does this, right? Anyway, I have started to find that I am constantly comparing everything that I am doing with what other mothers are doing! I find we live in a time of comparison. I really can't help it when I do it, heck I don't even notice I'm doing it half the time. Sometime I find myself looking at others life's and thinking, wow their life is so perfect! They seem to have it all while I feel like I am stuck in the same old mundane things from day to day. But then I analyse it and realise my life is pretty good, even if I don't realise it all the time. I really need to remember to take a breather and look within myself rather than comparing myself to other mothers. Another thing I have noticed is that within the group of women I know that are all mothers and know each other is they all try to one up everyone they know in the same boat as them and I have now found myself doing the same thing from time to time! I have no idea why I feel the need to go out and buy better shoes for Leon than the mother who just posted about getting new stuff for their little one but it has became part of life now and I'm not quite sure I like it. It's horrible that we feel the need to one up others from time to time but when we are constantly around others who do it, wither it be in person or social media I think we just automatically pick up on the behavior. I have found that I need to constantly slap myself on the wrist, give myself into trouble and stop it immediately. It's not healthy behavior, not everyone should be competing against each other.

Let me tell you about a girl I know who is always guilty of trying to one up everyone. I'm not sure why she does it or what she gains from it but there is a serious problem here I think. The girl always has to one up everyone at all times for example, we can be talking about how Leon got a new tooth through so she will go on to talk about how her little one has suddenly got 3 through,  she will cut you off mid sentence just to get what she has got to say out. It's very frustrating to say the least so I'm glad we aren't "friends" we are more acquaintances than anything. It's a case of stopping to say hi and catch up for all of 10 minutes then we don't see each other for months but you can bet all your money on her having some amazing story of what her little one is doing now and how she is so proud because no other child they know at that age is doing it or how she bought £200 worth of clothes for her child when someone else only bought £100 worth. I don't understand why this girl feels the need to do this constantly, she is a good mum and people can see that so I don't understand having to show off all the time.

It isn't only limited to someone doing it face to face, it is constantly happening on social media, when ever I log on I will see it happening. There are ones who will post pictures of all the stuff they bought their child or what they could afford for themselves and it isn't them posting the pictures etc... that get to me its the captions they use with the pictures such as "Having more money than the mother across the road makes me happy" Like that is a direct quote from a picture I seen on instagram... It baffles me when I see this stuff.

I feel like we get lost in looking at others life's, seeing what they post and them portraying the "perfect'' life, Instead of posting to brag or looking to compare why not support each other? Let's all just spread the positivity because we all know how hard it is being a mum at the best of times. We don't need to be knocking each other down do we? We should be building each other up and creating happy memories with our children. I have gotten to the stage now where I only focus on my own life, I don't care what others are buying for their children or what they are doing with their lives because at the end of the day it has no impact on my life or my sons life what so ever. So they just bought a load of clothes for their child, that's great! they are doing great, or someone's child is developing a little faster than my child, so what? my son will develop at his own pace. Just like every child is different, every parent is different. We all do things our own way and that's perfectly ok!

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3 comments

  1. You are a fantastic mother! I am so proud of you for that, you never need to compare your life to others. I really like this post hen good work xxxx

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  2. Well said mama! We just need to focus on what we have, and what we want to achieve, not bother comparing ourselves to what other people are doing or achieving because that's a big fat waste of time and energy! Thanks for linking up to #coolmumclub lovely xx

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  3. I find that what we see on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram etc is a glossed over version of real life....apart from motherhood blogs that I read! Focusing on our own lives is definitely the way forward. Time goes so fast, why would be waste time worrying about others. :) great post #CoolMumsClub

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