Let's talk; Body Confidence

This weeks Let's talk; post is on Body Confidence 

Being body confident isn't something I would say that applies to me. Growing up I haven't been kind on myself in anyway, I find new problems every time I look in the mirror from my arms being big to spots coming through on my face, yet when I voice any of this to my family or friends they tell me that I'm perfect the way I am and that I need to stop putting myself down, so It's safe to say I'm my own worst critic when it comes to my body. And I have the feeling I'm not alone in that, as I see it all the time through social media. Although I can look at myself a little longer in the mirror now and not feel like a fat lump some days, I still struggle with my body image. 

So it's got me thinking, why are we so harsh on ourselves? Why do we find something different not to like day in and day out? And where did it all start? 

From a very young age I feel that we are told that anything we do should be to impress others and it makes me sad to think, that we live in a world where most humans feel like they need to please others more than they should be pleasing themselves. I do think that the media plays a big part in all this though because ever since I can remember, all the magazines I read, all had articles about achieving the perfect look. I used to get magazines that were for younger girls when I was around 10/11 and even in them there were articles on how to get the perfect guy and hair styles to impress your friends. Although it doesn't sound that bad, it basically told me that what ever I did, it should be to impress. So yes, from a young age I was being bombarded with different articles all about impressing others which to me, is very wrong. 

It's no wonder young girls aren't playing barbies anymore in their rooms with their friends, ages 10/11 like I used to when you see the amount of magazines out there that are so easy to access now, and it's not even magazines anymore, they all have access to the Internet. I see young girls out and about, dressed to impress (well, that's my opinion anyway) They have their mini heels on, purse on hand and lip gloss at the ready. When did all this become more important than the new bratz doll that just came out? I definitely feel like my childhood is worlds apart from today's generation of youngsters. I would never have been allowed out the house dressed in half the stuff the young girls of today are wearing. Sometimes I often wonder if they are missing out on a childhood because they all seem to want to be grown up too soon. 

As you can tell, I sometimes go off topic a little, but I do feel this is relevant to what I'm getting at. I feel that from an early age we are led to believe that a certain "look" makes you beautiful when that's not the case at all and that you should be doing these things to impress others rather than being taught about self love. 

Anyway, I can't quite get my head around why I'm my own worst enemy with body image, because while growing up, my gran was my biggest supporter with my looks and always told me that I should love myself no matter what. I got complimented often from her and others around me, yet I still felt the need to limit my food, exercise till I was passing out and trying to find quick fixes to my problems, that I now know weren't the answer. I put my body through all sorts of torture just to feel accepted by fellow school mates but no matter how hard I tried it didn't seem good enough as I still got teased about my weight or looks. I felt like I couldn't please anyone when I should have been trying to please myself. I still feel that I need to look a certain way to be considered beautiful, I look online and come across people like kylie Jenner and Kim Kardashian. I honestly can't count the amount of posts I have seen from various online sources that talk about how these women have the "perfect" bodies accompanied with posts on how to loose a little weight, tone up your bum, and have a celebrity diet. It's all too much to keep up with, because one minute models like Kate moss are said to have the ideal look then they are saying that people like NickI Minaj have the perfect look... You really can't win with the media can you? 

Although the media has been coming on in leaps and bounds lately in terms of different types of women finally being celebrated and put in magazines etc... with models such as Tess holiday securing high profile modelling contracts, showing women that it's ok to embrace your body and looks because everyone is beautiful and campaigns like Doves real women hitting headlines in attempt to spread the word that everyone is different and unique in their own way, there is still an avalanche of this stereotypical beauty ideal that is in near enough all magazines. On one page it tells you to embrace your body, be yourself and be happy with  what you have, then on the next page there is an article on how to loose a few pounds to fit into that perfect little black dress. I feel that there is no escaping the fact that it's more acceptable to be a size 6 than to be a size 16. In my eyes, as long as you are fit, healthy and happy that's all that should matter. So why can't I apply that thinking to my self? I guess that when it comes to your own body you see flaws rather than positives. Sometimes I tell myself that if I wouldn't tell my best friend that then why should I tell myself it. 

I feel like it's time that "real" women define beauty standards and not some person dictating what goes into the magazines etc... Everyone is unique, everyone is beautiful and the sooner I realize that I'm one of those people who are beautiful the better. 

Wither you're a size 2 or size 22, you are beautiful. You deserve love, happiness and a fantastic life. There needs to be more pictures of the every day women modelling clothes in magazines to show people that you can dress how ever you want and still feel comfortable doing so. I absolutely love the effyourbeautystandards that was created by Tess Munster (Tess Holiday), this woman isn't a size 0 and is still securing modelling jobs etc... I feel like this is a huge step in the right direction because there defiantly needs to be women of all sizes and shapes on the catwalks to show case different clothing styles. I feel if they did this, more people would go out and buy the products because they would see someone with a similar figure to them wearing it and maybe it would encourage them to step out of their comfort zone. 

Talking about this has really helped me because I'm defiantly in a different frame of mind about my body now than when I started this post because I sort of realize that I shouldn't be harsh on myself, that I should celebrate myself as much as I want to celebrate other women. I'm a size UK 12 with big thighs, big boobs and a mum tum. I have stretch marks and cellulite, some wobbly bits and rather prominent collar bones, and do you know what? I'm proud of that. It has taken a lot of years for me to get my head where it is right now and I'm glad I can finally say f**k it. I am beautiful in my own way and no one will tell me any differently 

If you have some time I recommend that you check out this blog that I came across while doing research for this topic called "The Body Image Project" It is filled with storied from different people who have some body image issues. I think that it is a great idea for people to share their stories without having to show face as that can be a bit embarrassing for some. 

I hope that if you are reading this and have some body image issues that maybe some of my words have helped. 

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1 comment

  1. Great post. Always be you no matter what. You are perfect x