15 thoughts I have on my periods.


Periods are most definitely a dreadful time of the month for any woman, they turn your world upside down and turn you into a monster, and that's if your lucky! Not so long ago I wrote a post on all things period related which you can read here "Unwelcome Visitor"  

This time round I decided to delve into the mind of a woman who's on her periods just about ready to blow... And what better way to write this than whilst I'm on my periods. Yay for me... NOT *cries in the corner* No but seriously, it's horrible.  About a million thoughts race through your mind from the minute you start till after you've finished up. 


1: Is that blood running down my...... YES! Yes it is. 

2: I want a bath but I don't want to sit in a pool of blood so I'll take a shower, but I can't stand because of the cramps so I'll just lay here and cry at not being able to wash.

3: Chocolate.... WERE IS THE GOD DAMN CHOCOLATE *Cries* oh wait, there it is. *happy face*

4: OMFG THE PAIN.... THE FUCKING PAIN. 

5: Okay so is this normal or..... 

6: Far too much blood. Can't handle this. Not amused. I'm definitely a freak of nature.

7: Hungry but don't want food, can't stomach chocolate and have no energy, sleep it is then but I can't sleep because of cramps so I'll cry for half an hour before I decide on eating the chocolate that's right next to me.

8: DO NOT COME NEAR ME MALE, LEAVE ME ALONE. But bring me food and rub my back please. 

9: Does every woman experience this or is it just me? *frantically googles period symptoms* 

10: CANT TAKE ANY MORE OF THIS. I GIVE UP. IM GOING TO LIVE IN A CAVE. 

11: Why do my boobs hurt so frikkin much?! I'm bleeding from my vagina, not my tits!!! Get your act together Mother Nature. 

12: Leave me here to die. My bed is a good place for me to pass away. 

13: I'm pretty sure a letter every month to tell me I'm not pregnant would work just as well, if not better, than the lining of my womb shredding itself every god damn month!!!! 

14: Can people tell I'm on my periods? Do they know I'm one stupid comment away from snapping everyone's neck? 

15: Ahhhh it's over..... Nope, wait, it's back *cries for hours over the horrible luck of being a woman* 

So that's pretty much my experience during my periods. It's horrible. I'm always in pain. I'm always moaning. I'm a cranky as fuck cow. I hate everyone and I black out sometimes. I hate the whole experience, I hate it, I hate it, I hate it. 

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71 comments

  1. Unsigned, Me7 July 2016 at 12:28

    Lying in my pool of blood bath reading this not knowing whether to laugh or cry at the sad truth of it all! And now I want chocolate more than anything. Followed by sleep. Ice cream. More chocolate.... possibly cake. That's all in the one minute since I started writing this comment! Not even an hour or a day. And this goes on for days! SOS. Send supplies!

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    1. Jordanne Lee7 July 2016 at 15:51

      I am so glad that someone else feels this! It's such a horrible time of the month and the emotional roller coaster is something else! I hope you're not having too bad a time, stock up on plenty of chocolate and make that hot water bottle your best friend haha.

      Delete
  2. Dean B8 July 2016 at 11:19

    I'm usually fine once my period starts, it's the days before that really bothers me! My back really starts to ache and my boobs, it hurts like hell too :( I'm actually looking forward to menopause, though I heard that is awful too.

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    1. Jordanne Lee13 July 2016 at 23:21

      I hate when I'm on, it's just horrible to say the least!! I hate the back ache, it's always such a big inconvenience.

      Delete
  3. MamaMummyMum8 July 2016 at 11:55

    This made me chuckle. Periods really do suck!!

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  4. Leonie8 July 2016 at 13:27

    The first day is always the worst after that it gets better. But can totally relate to the chocolate! It only take a word and I flip. Mother nature could honestly have chosen another method to remind us that we are women!

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    1. Jordanne Lee13 July 2016 at 23:22

      Mines seems to last the full week, all the cravings and pains. So horrible! Haha I totally sympathise with the word flipping.

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  5. George@CulinaryTravels8 July 2016 at 18:40

    Yes that pretty much summed it up for me. So glad I no longer have to go through them.

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  6. MaggieBob8 July 2016 at 19:11

    I can very much relate. Especially to the oh it's over… oh no it isn't! *period solidarity!*

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    1. Jordanne Lee13 July 2016 at 23:22

      At least I'm not the only one!! Haha I hate the stopping and starting.

      Delete
  7. Lyndsey O'Halloran8 July 2016 at 23:27

    I'm so happy I have the contraceptive implant and no longer have periods!

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  8. Elizabeth9 July 2016 at 10:14

    Oh this made me chuckle! I remember this well. I get a contraceptive jab now so my periods are pretty much non existent, but I do get PMT symptoms at the end of every three months. Awful. :/

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    1. Jordanne Lee13 July 2016 at 23:24

      Oh I would hate getting the symptoms still! But at least there's no blood.

      Delete
  9. Leslie9 July 2016 at 16:54

    Haha, yessss!! I have a twin brother and it's hilarious the week before I start my period his friends will complain he's moody. I hate seeing people when I'm on my period, I never know what may come out of my mouth.

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    1. Jordanne Lee13 July 2016 at 23:25

      Haha so he comes out in sympathy with you, that's brilliant!! I much prefer to curl up and ignore humanity but unfortunately the child has other plans and that seems to be the only time he doesn't want to curl up and watch peppy pig!

      Delete
  10. Double the Monkey Business10 July 2016 at 10:07

    This made me giggle. It also made me feel better - now I know I am not the only one who has this experience. Xx

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    1. Jordanne Lee13 July 2016 at 23:26

      I love that I'm getting so much feedback from wonderful women such as yourself who can relate! It's comforting! Xx

      Delete
  11. kerry norris11 July 2016 at 09:40

    Lol. Every thought I used to have. I'm on a pill that doesn't give me them now. Holiday time used to stress me out soooo much x

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  12. kerry norris11 July 2016 at 09:41

    I used to have. I'm on a pill that doesn't give me them now. Holiday time used to stress me out soooo much x

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    1. Jordanne Lee13 July 2016 at 23:27

      I still got mine when I was on the pill! I've had mine with every contraceptive I've been on. Swimming is always a horrible, stressful activity x

      Delete
  13. Chloe/Life Unexpected12 July 2016 at 08:25

    hahaha I particularly love number 13. A letter would completely suffice. I'm glad I'm not the only one that dives straight for the chocolate. I am so awful to be around too. x

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    1. Jordanne Lee13 July 2016 at 23:29

      I love knowing I'm not the only one! It makes it a bit easier to cope with knowing other experience this haha. Chocolate always seems to be the big one x

      Delete
  14. Emma Porter13 July 2016 at 23:20

    Oh god it's been a torment in my life since my tender 11 year old self started on this revolting journey of being a female! What rotten luck for us to get such a shit end of the stick where reproductive organs are concerned! Thank god for breastfeeding and no periods!! #lifelovinglinkie

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    1. Jordanne Lee18 July 2016 at 23:11

      The periods are such a horrible time and I just hate that we have been lumped with it haha not cool!

      Delete
  15. Charlotte14 July 2016 at 19:18

    Love the reality of this post, nodding away in my little corner to each comment#lifelovinglinkie

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    1. Jordanne Lee18 July 2016 at 23:12

      I'm glad that others are relating to this post haha

      Delete
    2. Charlotte30 July 2016 at 20:15

      Returning from #thelist

      Delete
  16. Life Loving17 July 2016 at 20:48

    You forgot to add, I'm hot, so damn hot. What is this burning temperature all about?

    Sally @ Life Loving
    #LifeLovingLinkie

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    1. Jordanne Lee18 July 2016 at 23:13

      Luckily I don't suffer from the temp change which is a blessing I suppose!

      Delete
  17. Life is Knutts29 July 2016 at 11:32

    A letter would do, totally hun. Totally.
    I suffered sooooooo badly until I had kids. I would literally be throwing up because of the pain and, no joke, my labour pains were pretty similar to my menstrual cramps. That's how bad they were. Now I have had kids, and a coil fitted, life is soooooooo much beter. I am using the coil as an excuse as to why my backside has terbled in size since this time 2 years ago, not the cake and alcohol, but it's changed my life.
    Virtual hugs and choccie coming your way.xxx
    Gems.xx
    #TheList

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    1. Jordanne Lee22 August 2017 at 22:25

      I think a letter really does NEED to happen haha

      Delete
  18. Anonymous2 August 2016 at 08:11

    I can definitely relate. In my teens, my periods were hell. Very painful, very heavy and sometimes would arrive when I least expected. I ended up having to leave school early a few times because the pain was so bad. Now, they've been irregular for many years and aren't so bad. #fortheloveofBLOG

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  19. The Pramshed2 August 2016 at 22:26

    I can really relate to this post, as mine came back last month after 20 months of not having them. Then today it came back on my way home from work, thank god it didn't happen at work, as I could barely stand up when I got home. I'm treating these like labour pains, they are soooooo bad! All I wanted to do was curl up and sleep, and eat chocolate, I could barely eat dinner my stomach hurt so much. It's not fair we have to have them. Thanks so much for sharing a second post with us at #fortheloveofBLOG this week. Claire x

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  20. The Busy Mum4 August 2016 at 23:23

    I hear ya sister!! They always show up at the worst times too...gggrrrrrr! Embrace the chocolate. And the hot water bottle, I say! #thelist

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  21. TheEastieA10 August 2016 at 20:26

    I relate to this sooooo much! I mean who wouldn't haha, especially the "leave me to die here" hahaha
    Amy xx
    andeastthesun.co.uk

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  22. Lauren Matthews10 August 2016 at 20:29

    This made me laugh! All 15 of these are ME! All at once at some points! Chocolate, bananas and a hot water bottle and thats how I feel better!!

    Lauren | laurmatthews.blogspot.com

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  23. Caroline10 August 2016 at 20:34

    I thought this but I published a blog post after going to a red tent (where women go and talk, normally one their periods but anyone can go) and it made me appreciate my period but yeah, fab post!

    ayranarose.blogspot.com

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  24. Samantha P10 August 2016 at 20:34

    I can relate to this post on a spiritual level. Periods are honestly one of the WORST parts of being a female ever, outside of becoming pregnant and childbirth.

    S .x http://ramblingsofayoungprgirl.blogspot.com/

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  25. Anonymous10 August 2016 at 20:40

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  26. ohfab10 August 2016 at 21:06

    I think you covered pretty much every thought women have while on their periods! They're bloody dreadful things! Why do the women have to suffer all the time!!!

    Em x
    www.ohfab.co.uk • lifestyle & design blog • for fab custom logo & blog header designs visit: www.etsy.com/uk/shop/ohfab

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  27. Jade Priestley10 August 2016 at 21:17

    Oh I loved this! Totally agree with the one about wanting a bath but not wanting to bathe in my blood... So gross!

    - studentwandering.blogspot.co.uk

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  28. Suzi T18 August 2016 at 15:21

    I love my hysterectomy.

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  29. Back With A Bump9 December 2016 at 06:46

    I can so relate to this as I sit here in bed with those familiar cramps and grateful I wore black knickers to bed!! #fridayfrolics

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  30. Island Living 3659 December 2016 at 11:41

    I can relate. Last year mine were so bad for months on end that I was vomiting with the pain of them. Although they are now better, I now get ovulation pain. What is that about??? #Fridayfrolics

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  31. Henny Jane9 December 2016 at 15:30

    LMAO unfortunately, this is very relatable. I want to stab people. >:)

    http://coffeemoundslipstickclouds.blogspot.com

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  32. Life Love and Dirty Dishes15 December 2016 at 20:04

    I'm such bad company when I have my period I don't even want to be around myself! Thanks for linking up to #FridayFrolics. Have a fantastic Christmas and hope to see you linking up again in 2017

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  33. Ellis12 March 2017 at 07:14

    You've absolutely nailed all of these on the head. My body is currently trying to get used to coming off the pill and I've had 2 periods since, one of which is going on right now & im ready to crawl into a dark hole & die. Thankyou so much for sharing this - I needed it! Ellis x

    www.elliswoolley.blogspot.com

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  34. nessaclayden13 April 2017 at 19:09

    You just said what we were all thinking ;)

    therealnessonline.com

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  35. Charley Wainwright23 August 2017 at 18:23

    This is SO relatable and really made me laugh omg! I tick off every single thing on this list once a month!

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  36. Mykki12 November 2018 at 18:09

    I have read so many horror stories from girls and women over the years about terrible period experiences and I just have to say...

    I am unbelievably lucky or something. I don't really experience any of these things - maybe some minor mood swings, a little bit of cramping, but I bleed for like two days and that's it.



    On The Cusp | https://on-th3-cusp.blogspot.com/

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