15 things I've had said about my depression

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I have depression, I have talked about this openly on my blog and it's not something I am ashamed of, I find it important to talk about this topic so that others don't feel so along. But todays post is a little different as I share with you 15 thing's people have said to me about my depression. Spoiler alert, they are all stupid.  

Lately I have been thinking a lot about my depression and anxiety, how it affects me and how I handle it and what measures I take to try help myself. But, in thinking about all of this, it stirred up some awful memories of the dumb sh*t people have said to me over the years. You know, those phrases that get used to death towards anyone with mental health issues, the phrases that people think are going to cure you of that chemical imbalance you have or somehow be this magical cure you have never thought of before because you know, going for a walk cures depression and just getting on with it suddenly means you don't have anxiety anymore. 

Not only is it rude and uneducated to say these things, it also hurts; It reminds me of just how different I am to someone who doesn't go through these things, who doesn't have to live with a battle in their head every day. I am constantly at war with myself. Should I wear this? Will everyone judge me? Will they see that I have depression? Will they notice the marks on my arm? Before I step out the door my mind goes a million miles an hour which really takes its toll and I'm not alone in this. I have found that I hide it extremely well, most people who meet me in real life would never guess I have depression which I guess in a way is how I want it to be, I mean, I don't exactly want to wear a neon sign above my head that flashes "I have depression" you know? but sometimes it would be nice to have understanding when I do open up about it. 

Anyway, if you're someone who's used these terms, maybe it's not occurred to you how much it affects someone, maybe you were just trying to help, but once you know that it's not the right way to go about it, please stop doing it. And if you have had these words said to you, I am truly sorry because I know how horrible it is and the sinking feeling you get in your stomach. 

So, here's 15 dumb as hell things people have said to me about dealing with depression;

  • "Just think positive, you'll be okay"
  • "Go get some air and calm down"
  • "Medication can't possibly help can it?"
  • "You need to get over it"
  • "There are people out there who have it worse than you"
  • "Think yourself lucky you aren't dying"
  • "It's just in your head"
  • "Just breath and count to 10 then get on with it"
  • "You need to just get on with it"
  • "Pretend it's not there"
  • "Pull yourself together"
  • "I'm struggling too but you don't see me moaning about it"
  • "Toughen up"
  • "It's silly, how can you be scared to go out?"
  • "Isn't depression all in someone's head but?"

Having depression is crippling but what it makes it worse is when someone decides to have a jab at it or be very insensitive. You would be surprised at the amount of people who go through this on a daily basis which is uncalled for in this day and age, there needs to be more acceptance, there needs to be more education on mental health and there needs to be more understanding. 

When you go through life worrying that someone is going to say something to you that could potentially triggering, it takes its toll. We are all human beings at the end of the day, we all deserve respect and some compassion, I get that some people may not understand how these sentences or remarks could be offensive or triggering, so, if someone tells you it's hurt them or that they find it offensive, listen, learn from it and do better as you go on. 

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  1. Oh my goodness I can't believe people have said all of those things. I had severe depression about 5 years ago. I think it is so hard to understand it and what it feels like until you've experienced it for yourself. You can't just 'pull yourself together'. Some people can be so narrow minded. x

  2. OMG! I couldn't agree more with what you have said! I get so wound up when people tell me to just 'forget about it' or 'get over it'. It makes me want to scream from the rooftops! haha!

    So glad you have put my thoughts into words!


  3. I'm going to be honest here, I dated a guy who was depressed looooong time ago and I think I probably told him all the comments you wrote...why? because I did not know a single thing about it! Like you said I was uneducated, and believe me when I said thses comments, it did not come from a bad place at all, I loved the guy!
    Depression is an illness that we can't see and as humans if you don't see it we can't really understand it... Now that I actually work with people with mental illness issues, I understand more about it and I would never say theses comments again!

    Aurélie x

  4. This is perfect. The pretending things don't exist can kill, nonsense. Well done on this one!

  5. I've heard these myself. When I told my mom I was diagnosed with depression she said and I quote "I wouldn't call it depression". People really don't understand depression and how it affects people. They assume that if you're able to function and aren't self harming or doing visible things; you can't possibly be depressed. I think being told to think positively was one of the worst and most annoying things ever said to me. I hope people read this post because this is important to hear.

  6. People really don't understand depression. It's sad to think that people can't even sympathize with something they've never gone through. I've never lost someone, but I can still sympathize and support them. Maybe it's because mental illness is still so misunderstood and still so taboo in some places, but it's amazing how ignorant people can be about it. I just hope that someday they don't become depressed and have people say these things to them. Because it hurts and depression hurts enough already.

    Fantastic post!

    Emily | https://www.thatweirdgirllife.com

  7. Sorry to hear people are so ignorant. I don’t know much about depression but when my friend go ill I just said I’m there fir her, no matter what. We need more kindness and compassion in this world 💖

  8. I HATE it when people say “There are others who have it worse than you” as if I don’t know?! I don’t choose to sit and wallow in my depression - it’s an illness! People highlighting that others have it worse just makes me feel guilty and actually worsens my anxiety and depression. It’s a viscous cycle. Thank you SO much for sharing. I’m sorry you’ve experienced this, but you are not alone ��

  9. It is great to hear about your experience. You are very brave to come out and talk about it. I'm sorry that you had to hear that from the people around you. There's nothing wrong with opening up about what's going inside your head. My friend had a similar situation and her parents refused to believe her luckily with the support of our friends circle she's happy now. It's sad to hear of the lack of awareness and education about depression. Great post!👍