Thursday, 23 November 2017

You don't choose how I manage my Anxiety

I have been thinking about writing this post for a while because it's something that's been on my mind for God knows how long. I see little things over social media that spark this discussion in my head over and over again but I often forget to write my thoughts down but not anymore, I have to talk about this.

I've suffered from anxiety for as long as I can remember, I was diagnosed when I was a teenager but I am 100% convinced that I also suffered when I was younger because these feelings are something I remember from childhood. I've not always been open with my anxiety, I would brush it off and I never let anyone know about it because I was embarrassed but eventually I realised that in order to take control again I had to come to terms with myself and the anxiety that was crippling me.

I've tried many ways to get my anxiety under control, natural remedies, medication, nothing.... I've honestly tried it all and the way I cope is by taking medication from the Drs and doing some breathing exercises. For me I don't think this is bad, if it helps then why would it be a bad thing? But lately on the internet I've seen more and more people shitting all over people who chose to use medication from the Drs to treat their anxiety.... are you freaking kidding me on? I really don't understand why me or anyone else who takes medication for anxiety to manage it are doing anything wrong.....

I read a post on Facebook that if you don't manage it naturally then you're just in it for the medication and don't actually have anxiety. I've seen tweets talking about not using anything to manage it and how they are much better than those who use anything. No. NO NO NO NO NO... FUCKING NO. How I choose to manage my Anxiety is not your business nor does it mean I'm "faking". I manage MY anxiety how I want to, not how someone else wants me to manage it or thinks I should.

Just because I manage mine with medication doesn't mean I'm better than you. Just because you manage yours with natural remedies or with nothing at all doesn't mean you're better than me. We are all in this shitty cocktail of life together, trying not to drown. I really don't understand why anyone with anxiety would take these views but I guess it takes all sorts. I don't think we all need some big sorority where we wear a badge of honour for having anxiety and need to be best friends for life but I do think we owe it to each other to be a little more understanding and not judge each other on how we manage our anxiety.

Having anxiety is hard, I have to mentally plan something in advance or I'll freak out big crowds scare me, being out with my son alone scares me, surprises scare me, basically everything scares me and I don't know how to stop that. I try my damn hardest every single day to be better, to not let it affect me or ruin my life but it does, but I'm trying and my medication helps that. If my medication allows me to take my son on a day out, just me and him then you're god damn right I'm going to take it. If my medication allows me to go to college to better my life then you can bet all your money that those pills are being taken.

We are not better than one another, we are the same and I would never stomp all over someone's coping techniques to make me feel better, that's not right. Seeing stuff like this, with people making out they are better than other for how they choose to live their lives honestly makes me feel even worse about myself, like I'm not worth it and that I'm a waste for not doing it cold turkey basically but I remember that's not the truth and that I am doing the best I can.

I know that this has been a bit of a rant but it's what's been on my mind latley, I just had to share my thoughts.

Follow me on; Instagram | Twitter Facebook | Bloglovin | Youtube


  1. Oh Jordanne I can't believe people say that about people on medication for anxiety that is absolutely ridiculous and I hope those people get a real reality check soon, but I can relate. Having suffered with depression for many years I choose not to take medication for personal reasons but I've had people say well then you're not really depressed and I've even been told 'well if you kill yourself, you only have yourself to blame' which is totally unfair. I totally agree everyone is different and it is their own RIGHT to deal with their MH in whichever way suits them! Sorry for the long comment! xx

  2. I've been on medication for both anxiety and depression and was met with mixed views on the subject, and a lot of judgement. I think everyone should be able to choose how they want to be treated for their mental health issues and I'm currently trying CBT and exposure therapies.