Happy Birthday, Little Bear


4 years ago today you were pulled out of my womb, 4 years ago today everything changed, 4 years ago today I realised that the greatest love I would ever feel would be for you. 

All I ever wanted was to become a mother, I dreamed about it all the time, wondering when my time would come to step up and claim my mummy badge and on the 13th May 2013 I found out my dreams were going to come true. Fast forward to 11th January where my waters broke and I was scheduled to be induced only to go into labour hours later. 7:25am on the 12th January came around and you were pulled from my womb during an emergency C-Section and the midwife called out the time,
"Healthy baby boy born at 7:25am
to which I asked,
"All 10 fingers and toes?
Looking back I'm not sure why I asked that, was it all the medication? was it the sheer panic that I was now responsible for a tiny human? who knows, but I asked it and your dad replied "yes" whilst sobbing his heart out and in that moment I knew your daddy was the one for me. Seeing how much love he had for you in that moment changed how I viewed him, as a man, as a father, as your daddy. Who knew that 4 years from then you would be some hyper little monster who was sent from the depths of hell to test me? I sure didn't, but I wouldn't have it any other way.


You've been giving me mini heart attacks from day dot, from trying to roll out of the bed to refusing to be sick when you needed it. You kept me on my toes, that's for sure. As you grew I saw the glimmer in your eye, knowing you would be trouble, the best kind. Seeing you sit up on your own, rolling over, taking your first steps filled me with joy, it's a feeling I had never experienced before, I never knew what pure joy felt like until you entered my life, little bear. You make me so proud every day from the way you're so kind and loving to the way you like to figure everything out on your own and ace it. Seeing how smart you are and how much you love nature fills me with pride, I always worried that something would go wrong, that I wouldn't be the best mum and, I don't know, something bad would happen, but I feel with each day that comes it get's easier, figuring out this thing called motherhood with you makes it all worth while. 


There's something about you, Little bear, that makes me weak yet strong, stronger than I have ever been at the same time. Your smile lights up my life and those eyes, oh those eyes melt my chilly little heart (you get them from me so I'm told) The first thing your daddy ever noticed about me was my eyes, he tells me there's something hypnotic about them and it makes him love me even more with each passing day and when he sees you, he knows that this family is the one for him, the best thing to ever happen in his life and I can't lie, I feel the same. Your eyes stop me from being mad, they show me the light when all around me is dark and I now see what your daddy means about the eyes, because if this is how he feels, I know it's a fierce love as that's everything I feel. My love for you is beyond words, I couldn't imagine life without you now, not ever. 


4 years of tantrums, poop, snotty noses, crying at the cat touching you, throwing a fit at the rain then crying even more when it stops. 4 years of refusing to give your dummies up, of never wanting to take your wellies off, of hating the bath water near your face (you get that from me btw, soz!). 4 years of moments where I want the ground to swallow me whole because you're jumping up and down in the middle of Tesco over a cookie. Although all these things may sound negative, I wouldn't change them for the world because they make you, you and when you aren't screaming the face off of me, you're the best boy in the whole entire world. Now for the cute things right? 

4 years of cuddles when I'm sad, of tucking you in at night whilst you grab my finger, of showing me every toy you own even though I know. 4 years of calling me mum, of watching you grow, of seeing the light you bring to this world. 4 years of seeing the impact you have on people and your willingness to stick everything out, even if you fail at first. 

You have grown into such an amazing little boy, I love the way you count, the way you can't say "L" properly yet, the way you just know when people need your hugs. I love everything about you and for someone who doesn't like feet, I sure do love yours more than life itself. I just want you to know that you are amazing, you are enough and you CAN do anything you want and I will always be here, right by your side cheering you on. Don't ever think you can't tell me something or I won't accept you because I will, I will always love you, forever. When you start blaring your music and refusing to get up for school, I will still love you. When you tell me I'm uncool and I've never been your age, I'll still love you. When you hit your rebellious stage (which you will because you're my son) I will still love you. Wither you bring home a girl or boy to meet me as your other half, I will still love you because you're my son and nothing is changing that. I accept you for who you are, just remember that, Little bear.

So Happy 4th Birthday, Don't Get Too Hyper, Okay?

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17 comments

  1. Happy Birthday, Little Bear!
    Honestly, this post has made me so emotional and I can’t stop smiling right now ❤️ Absolutely beautiful!

    -Soffy @ themumaffairs.blogspot.com

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    1. Aww thank you so much Soffy 💖 This by far has been my most favourite post to write to date. He's my whole entire world.

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  2. Aww Happy Birthday Little Bear <3 This is such a sweet and adorable post! It’s so well written and thoughtful. It made me laugh when you said ‘when you hit your rebellious stage (you will because your my son) he he! Beautifully written Jordanne and hope you have all had a fabulous day celebrating your little ones birthday <3 xx

    Bexa | www.hellobexa.com

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    1. Thank you so much for your comment Bexa! What a lovely comment :) I totally loved writing this and I love I can go back and read it when ever!

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  3. Aww this is such a cute post! Happy Birthday to him! And congrats to you for everything you did! I wonder what you will be writing in his 15 y.o. birthday post ahah

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    1. Thank you for your comment :) Haha I can't wait to write that post!

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  4. This is so beautiful! It's melting my heart, I can't stop smiling. I hope this post sticks around so he can read it when he's older. Happy (belated) Birthday Little Bear (that feels slightly strange because that's what I call my dog), I hope you have an amazing time at your party and you mum doesn't get herself too stressed out! x

    Sophie
    www.glowsteady.co.uk

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    1. Thank you so much for your comment :) I do love this post, it gets me every time I read it, I loved writing it.

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  5. Happy birthday to your little dude! He is so cute!

    Hannah the Mad Dog

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  6. Such a lovely post Jordanne! It made me feel emotional but in a beautiful way!

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  7. Ah, Jordanne, this is so lovely. He is one lucky little boy. And how wonderful to think that he'll be able to read this when he's a little older and know just how much he's loved and what an amazing mother he has. Gorgeous read xx

    Lisa | www.lisasnotebook.com

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    1. Thank you for commenting Lisa! I do love this post, my absolute favorite. I can't wait till he can read, I have so many letters for him when he's older.xx

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  8. Happy Belated Birthday Little Bear! I hope you had a lovely day and party, Jordanne this is such a sweet post and it would be lovely to look back on this in ten years time! I'm sure it will make him laugh reading all about his childhood and It's definitely different from the normal home movies and photos. I smiled all the way through this, you show soo much love for him and it's great to hear!

    Gemma | www.anoceanglimmer.wordpress.com

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  9. Aww Happy belated birthday to your lovely little boy! I hope the day was everything you hoped it would be and he had the best time. You can tell you are such a fabulous mum xx

    Tiffany x www.foodandotherloves.co.uk

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  10. Awh Happy Birthday Leon, I hope you had a fantastic day. This is such a lovely post Jordanne and I can totally relate to their eyes stopping us from being mad at them.

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