The Pressures of Life

Buy a house in your 20s, start a family, get married, have a high paying job, have your life figured out before your 30s, get a fancy car, a big house, go on vacations, have dinner on the table every night, eat right, get the kids into sports, deep clean your house every day, be positive, don't over think, look after yourself, be confident.

This list could be endless, you know, the list of pressures that society seems to put on us. I remember in my teens I thought I had to have my life figured out by the time I was 25, that I should be married with a career and kids, living in a house I bought with the "picture perfect" family, but here I am, almost 28 and I've got nothing figured out, but that's ok. 

I saw a comment on Facebook the other day that spoke about how the younger generations are entitled and think they should get something for nothing, that we are lazy and that's why we aren't buying houses or settling down like their generation did and it sparked a rage inside of me, one that led me to write this post because I think it's very narrow minded to believe that we should all be the same.

I'll be 28 at the end of this week and I still live at home, I don't have some big fancy career, nor do I have what is considered the "perfect family" dynamic. My OH and I don't live together yet, we don't have our own house and getting to that stage seems to be taking longer than anticipated but our way of life right now works. We are happy, little bear is happy, and to me that's all that matters. Sure, we would like our own place but it's just not the right time yet for us to buy a house. 

I recognise that we are lucky though, because we have this option available to us to still be living at home whilst we save for a house instead of renting somewhere in the meantime as there are lots of people out there who can't do this, so I know we have privilege in this scenario, but it doesn't feel like that all the time, especially when there seems to be so much pressure on us to have it all figured out by now. 

Buying a house isn't as easy to do anymore, sure it would be nice to buy one, but not everyone’s situations allow them to do so and social media doesn't seem to help that either because there are loads of posts from people that sort of shame those who haven't bought their own house yet or shame those who rent or are in a council house. What's wrong with living in a private owned property or council property? it doesn't define who someone is and it's definitely not something to be ashamed of. Since when did buying your own property mean you were above others? because I must have missed that memo. 

There is also the pressure to have your whole life figured out by the time you are in your twenties, I remember my PSE teacher sitting me down and telling me I couldn't go through life with a "I don't know yet", that I had to pick a career path which scared the hell out of me and saw me pick a career that I really had no interest in because I couldn't think of anything else at the time. Why was there such a rush for me to have my life figured out at 15? I was 15, I shouldn't have had the pressure yet because let's be honest, 15 is still young. 

Why is there a consensus that if you haven't got your life mapped out by the time you're in your late 20s, something must be wrong? I don't understand it to be honest because we are all on our own journey, we are moving at different paces and we aren't the same, what might work for one might not work for the other and to base someone's worth or success on these things means that there is only one rout to take, which isn't the case.

I've been thinking about this a lot recently, before I even saw the Facebook comment because I'm approaching 28 and there's still a lot about my life I haven't figured out yet, and at first it got me down, but now I realise that I am on my own path, doing what works for me and my life, and this works. What I am currently doing is fine for now, I have my plans and that's enough. 

Knowing that my path of success doesn't follow someone else's is such a weight of my shoulders because now I don't have to compare myself to others, I can be happy for those making progress but also know that it doesn't make my progress any less valid. 

Doing the best you can is all you can do, and f**k anyone who thinks otherwise. 

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  1. You're absolutely right Jordanne, you can only do your best in life, stuff what anyone else thinks! There's always going to be pressures in life, they're hard to avoid! Like you said, the fact we have pressures when we're just teenagers is just wrong, a great post lovely x

    Lucy |

  2. I totally agree with you about only doing the best you can do! I'm 42 and have been through this feeling of pressure at various different points in my life. Some have worked out for the best and others not so much. Knowing its your life and you are doing your best is all that matters x

    Helen |

  3. I turned 26 a few months ago, and even though this time has been crazy for most of us, I still feel this immense pressure to get my shit together. I also still live at home, and have been saving to try to buy a home, but it's been definitely tough! Thanks so much for making me not feel so alone during this crazy time xxx

    Melina |

  4. Yes you are right why there is lot of pressure that you have to figure out everything at a particular age.
    I mean I am 24 and I am still condconf what works for me or not works for me and that's ok untill I am alive I can do everything but surely blogging is one thing that I love and want to persue as a full time Career.

  5. Thanks for sharing, we all feel pressures in life, but the one to follow the path everyone else goes down is one I find hard when everybody has the perfect life of good job, marriage and kids.

    I do hope that I can relax without to many pressures soon :)

    Nic | Nic's Adventures & Bakes

  6. Oh wow, yes, so many pressures to have life figured out in our 20s. Speaking as someone who recently turned 30 and was made redundant from a full-time job shortly after, I can safely say there’s no guarantee of figuring things out at any age! I’m looking at my 30s as a time to reset and focus on what gives me passion and purpose. And trusting those ‘big life’ things like buying a flat and long-term relationships will follow at the right time :)

  7. My goodness, the pressures of life! You're so right. Thank you for sharing this, it's reminded me that I am only human!

  8. Oh wow, yes, so many pressures (and I'd say particularly for women) in their 20s to live it up, work hard, make money and settle down. As someone who recently turned 30 and even more recently became redundant, I can safely say there is no single path to a happy and 'successful' life. I'm looking at this time as an opportunity to reset and focus on what gives me passion and purpose. And trust the big life things will follow when they're supposed to!

    Elisha x

  9. Thank you for writing about this. This is the truth about what millennials are going through and we are not obligated to do things the way the older generations did it. They resources available to us differ from what they had. A good number of people in my parents generation began pursuing tertiary education around late twenties and so they even didn't have their life sorted. So, please live at your pace. We your readers will try to do that as well

  10. Do the very best you can at any point in time and be happy. Everyone's path is different!

  11. Yes, I am afraid social pressure is always going to be lurking around the corner. It doesn’t mean that we have to hive in to it. The thing is, in order to convince themselves that their decisions in life are right, others need to follow. Many didn’t want that. And believe me, many “Happy Families “ aren’t that happy and perfect. Social pressure might be different from country to country but I get what you mean. We need to learn not to give a damn in order to be happy and not let self doubt take control. That is the true devil in disguise. Take it from someone in their late 30s, who does have a family in a totally unconventional way, doesn’t own a home as not sure if we are ready to anchor. With only one kid as I didn’t let myself bully into having more. It’s my life, thank you. And who honestly is in a point in her life where I am not sure what I should do the rest of my life. The most interesting people I have met in my life didn’t know what they wanted to do.
    The world is an ocean, just ride the waves YOU choose to. I stoped giving a damn long ago. If you look back at the people who comment on your life and how you should live now, look back at their perfect life in 10-15 years, and see how it worked out for them. Maybe it does..... Happy Sunday ; )

  12. Oh, adulting is so hard isn't it? There's a lot of pressure in society to do this and that by a certain age, but I hardly believe in any of that effectiveness. Doing it in your own time and pace is the best.

    Sending love to you!

    🌿 Marissa Belle × 🌿

  13. My goodness, this post is like you've climbed into my head and read my mind!


  14. I feel you girl! I was feeling the pressure so much that I sunk myself into depression at some point. It gets really tough especially when being compared to others your age, it can get quite tough.

    It's like it suddenly sunk in that I was approaching 30 and I just started to panic!

    Everything happens when it's supposed to happen, that's what I believe. As long as we are trying that is all that matters.