The Number One Cause of Rape

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TW: Talk of Rape and Sexual assault. 

For years I've tried to work out what the cause of me being raped was, was I dressed too "slutty"? Was my skirt too short? Did I give mixed signals? Did I actually want it? The mind races when you're looking for reasons, and I finally found it, the reason I was violently violated.
So, what is the number one cause you ask? Well, I'm no psychologist, Dr, scientist or whatever, but I've cracked it! The cause is Rapists themselves. 

Now, I know this is hard to believe but hear me out, the only thing that causes rape or leads to rape are people committing the crime. Mind blowing isn't it? Especially when we hear; 

"Her dress was really short, she was asking for it" 

"He was drunk and didn't say no" 

"She was looking slutty so she wanted the attention" 

"He was being a little tease" 

"We were just kidding around, it's no biggie" 

"They looked so good I had to have a piece"

If you couldn't tell yet, I have been entirely sarcastic thus far. It still baffles me that there are people in the world who genuinely believe that there is justification in rape, that you can explain the act away like its nothing, on par with stealing an apple. But, it's not, it's not even close. 

Then there are those who believe a little grope isn't a big deal because it's not a full "sexual act", but spoiler alert, IT IS! Touching someone without their consent is SEXUAL ASSAULT! 

It baffles me that people still blame the victim, that the excuse of "they were asking for it" gets used, even in court cases! no-one asks for it. Why do some people think that it's ok to put the blame onto a victim who has just been traumatised, it's bad enough that they had to endure this horrific act without others making them feel like they shouldn't have reported it and then second guessing themselves. It is NEVER the victims fault and it's NEVER OK to make them feel like it is. 

It saddens me when I see debates online from those who feel like it's their place to tell someone who has been subjected to horrendous acts that they are actually the ones at fault. What sparked this rage to be fired up in me again was a comment section on a Facebook post, a Facebook friend of mine (now blocked) had left a comment on an article posted about someone who had been raped and committed suicide after their attacker was found not guilty. Because they had commented, it showed up on my feed so I was intrigued as to what was being said and after about 5 minutes, I wanted to throw up.

There were loads of comments sharing their condolences to the family of the girl who sadly took her life, but there were just as much, if now more, comments saying she couldn't live with her lies and that she must have wanted it to happen to her because she got drunk. I was APPALLED and absolutely disgusted with what was being said, what's worse was that my now ex Facebook friend, someone I had known since my teens said that people like her ruin the lives of men they have slept with out of spite. 

I just, I can fathom how you could come to that conclusion, I just can't. It's not OK to think that and it's definitely not OK to make statements like that under a post that talks about a victim taking their own life because the justice system failed them. My heart bleeds for those around the world who may see those comments and feel scared to report these atrocious crimes or may feel like it's their fault. 

I'm here to tell you that it's not, its not your fault that some scumbag couldn't restrain themselves and put you through hell, it never was and never will be your fault. As someone who was raped at age 14 I can empathise, I thought it was my fault and for years I blamed myself, but now that I'm older and have come to terms with it, I want others to know that it can get better and you shouldn't ever blame yourself. I know how difficult it is to accept though and people could tell you this your whole life and you may never believe it, but you did nothing wrong. It wasn't the way you were dressed, how you acted or because you were walking alone, there is NO EXCUSE for rape, there never will be nor is there any excuse for sexual assault. 

The number one cause of rape is rapists themselves, no exceptions. 

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1 comment

  1. I absolutely agree with everything you've said here. The number one (in fact only) cause for rape is rapists.

    The comments some people make on the internet are vile, and it's terrifying to think that there are people out there with these kind of views and thoughts. If I'd seen a friend of mine make these kind of comments I'd have blocked them too.

    Em xx