Thank You For Sticking Around

Today I wanted to do a little update of sorts, explain where I have been, what's been going on etc... I believe in being as transparent as possible and I wanted to just have a bit of a chatty post. 

I have been beating myself up the past few weeks for not being around on my blog or on social media, I have felt a sense of anxiety coming online because I have been away for a bit so I thought maybe talking through all that's happened would be good for me to get on top of it all, put myself out there and leave all these feelings of dread and worthlessness behind. 

A few weeks back I started going through an early miscarriage which was hell for me both mentally and physically, I did put out a post on it which started helping me come to terms with all that happened but just when I felt myself getting back to semi-normal I ended up getting an infection 'down there'. I started off feeling extremely dizzy, going in and out of a fever and the pain I was experiencing was beyond words. This took me out of the game for a little bit over a week and the whole time all I did was worry about my blog and letting people down. I was in my head so much about it rather than just focusing on getting better but I got there eventually, I forgot about everything for a few days and let go of the worry. 

Finally my body was getting better, I was feeling more clear headed which was nice then all of a sudden we got the phone call, you know that one where you're told you have to get your goodbyes in? yeah, that one. Unfortunately Stephens gran was getting worse and we all rallied around her and she was surrounded by love right up until the end. Sadly she passed away on the 2nd of June but everyone was around her and I'm sure she would have been over the moon to see the whole family together. 

I feel like the past month it's been one thing after another, there's been no down time at all. Amongst all of this I was also worrying blind about my college work, was it going to be finished? would it all be passable? Thankfully that's it, it's all handed in and I put unnecessary pressure on myself as usual, so far I have gotten three marks back all of them are a pass. It's pretty much set in stone now that I'll be back for HNC & I couldn't be happier! So that's at least one bit of good news.

Right now I'm trying to get my groove back, I'm trying to ease myself into blogging once more and I can't thank some brands that I have worked with lately enough, I have had a ton of emails which have been so kind and understanding, it really helped settle my anxiety about letting people down, I feel so honoured to work with such kind and compassionate companies. 

So that's it, that's what's been going on in my life (minus a few other things I'm not ready to talk about) but it's been hectic, always something happening and this has halted my blog but I have to remember it's ok to put my own physical and mental health first along with not feeling nervous when I put my phone away for the day. My family is my everything and they will always come first but that doesn't stop me going out of my mind over not doing 'enough'.

So thank you to all who have stuck around, who still come and give my blog a read and all of those who have messaged me with such kind words. Thank you. 

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  1. So sorry to hear about everything you have been going through. I only just recently started following your blog (just started blogging myself) because I came across your IT cosmetics post, so I was blissfully unaware of your recent struggles. Glad to hear you have had a little bit of good news in there with your college work though! Writing always helps me feel more relaxed, but not when it feels like something I have to do, rather than something I feel obligated to do. Doing 'enough' should be entirely relative to everything else that is going in your life at any moment. Looking forward to reading your blog now, hope you are feeling better soon x

    Holly / The Writing Finch

    1. Thank you so much for your comment Holly, and thank you for following my blog! It really means a lot. I'm finally feeling a little better so I'm back to writing & it doesn't feel so much of a chore now, hoping this continues x