Creating Your Positive Space

girl sitting in bed on phone

I don't think it's fair for others to dictate how you handle your Mental health.

This has been a topic that's been on my mind for a while now. I've never really known how to word this without coming off as all "high and mighty" that's really not what I'm about! But I did want to raise this topic as I've seen other touch on it a little plus some other things that really pushed me to write how I feel about it all.

Today I'm talking all about creating an environment online that doesn't effect your Mental health in a negative way.

Unfollowing people or blocking them seems to be a bit of a no go at times, I, myself, have found that I'm quite nervous and scared to unfollow people or block them for one reason, I don't want any backlash. It may sound silly but it happens, I've unfollowed someone before that I never spoke to, we didn't interact and she never spoke to me either, I wasn't enthused by her feed anymore so I unfollowed, simple right? Apparently not. The next day I got a huge rant from her asking why I unfollowed, why I even followed her in the first place if I wasn't going to engage with her and that she found me to be childish plus was blocking me.... it was a little surreal because I had no idea who she was to begin with and now she's ranting at me like I've just killed her cat.... like... What? Why? I was soooo confused, I didn't know what to do and felt like a horrible person. Since then I have always been a little apprehensive in who I unfollow and follow for that matter. I don't like drama, I don't do it, I've been involved once and that's more than enough thanks.

I'm someone who really doesn't like to read about people fighting or seeing others get into massive rows, that's not my thing, I believe in having an adult conversation or a healthy debate, there's really no need for nastiness, block the person and move on is my motto. So when I see things like this constantly happening and creeping up repetitively, I'll unfollow because I just don't want to be having a good old read down my feed and then BAM! A whole bunch of arguments. If anything it's exhausting and I know a lot of other people feel the same, wither you're involved or not it can really drain you mentally and that's something that triggers my anxiety so I don't like to look at it or get involved. I feel like this is somewhat common sense here but it still has to be said, everyone copes in different ways and just because someone doesn't get triggered by something or doesn't feel uneasy with it, doesn't mean that no one else will and I think it's unfair for anyone to ask someone else to put their mental health last for someone else.

Yes, friends do that a lot, I do it with my friends. I'll push my worries and troubles aside to help them and offer support but the difference is, I chose to do that so if I was ever told that I had to shove my depression and anxiety aside to deal with someone else's problems I wouldn't, I would not feel comfortable doing it unless it was MY choice. We can't dictate how others handle a situation, we can advise and help but we cannot try and make someone do things our way because we don't relate to how they handle a situation. That's a perplexing notion to me, I wouldn't dream of telling someone else how to cope with their mental health and I would never ask someone else to sacrifice their mental well being for me.

girl sitting in bed writing in book

This brings me to another point, lately I have been trying to get out of my head with the whole follow and un-follow thing, I should be able to curate my feed exactly how I like without being scared that I'm going to offend someone. We all grow so people we were following from 2 years ago may not be who we want to follow now, maybe they posted bomb ass travel photos and now they only post pictures of food, if you're not interested in that and you don't find it engaging then it's ok to press that unfollow button, why is there a fear over doing this? I wish I knew because maybe that would help with me getting over my anxiety of this.

There's nothing wrong with curating your social media feeds to be just how you want because at the end of the day you are the one looking at it everyday so what's the use of looking at things that impact negativity on YOUR mental health. Everyone is different meaning everyone's ideal situations are different. Some people follow millions of dog accounts because seeing those dog pictures helps them through the day, some people will follow a bunch of food accounts because again, that helps them with their day, you get my point? Curating your experience is ok, you're allowed to unfollow people who no longer post stuff that's relevant to you or who post things you just don't want to see.

Our online spaces are ours and it's amazing we get to share that with thousands and thousands of different people but if we were all to follow each other it would be a mess, we wouldn't be finding the content that's relevant to us. The diversity of the online world is amazing because you have different communities, there's the blogging community, the YouTube community, the fandoms, the cosplay and so much more! That's what makes it so amazing and it's great we can follow who we want.

Choosing what you want to post as well is also your right, you can choose what you want to say or what you don't want to say and I think it's rather disrespectful for anyone to tell you what you should and shouldn't be posting just because it will make THEM feel better, no, sorry, that's not how it works (btw, I'm not including stuff that targets others, spreads hate or is bullying etc... we all know that's wrong, this is more in the general sense of things) we should never feel pressured into talking about something that we don't want to and we shouldn't feel pressured to say things to others either.

girl sitting in bed on phone and laptopAt the end of the day we need to remember that just because something doesn't affect our mental health that it may not be the case for everyone. Things your comfortable doing may not sit well with others so never pressure people, don't feel bad about wanting to tailor your online experience just how you want it and don't feel bad about using that block button if you ever need to, some things just aren't worth it and there's no reason to keep it around.

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  1. Lovely post. So glad to see more people talking about the follow/unfollow situation. I felt guilty for a long time about unfollowing someone, but starting to accept that I don't have to follow someone back if the blog etc. isn't my cup of tea. Megan xx

    1. Thanks for commenting Megan! 💕 It's a topic that has really been on my mind lately, I've been so scared to unfollow people and such but I'm trying to get over that. We are all allowed to do our own thing and follow who we want 💕

  2. I love this post!very true about how we handle it all very differently! I try and delete all the negative influences and only create on positive. Also, i dont follow things im not interested in either because i feel forced to follow and dont feel authentic and that gets me down

    1. Thank you so much for commenting 💕 I feel like there's always been a stigma around it, there was a feeling of fear for a while a few years back, I talked to other bloggers at the time and they all felt the same about unfollowig certain people because they were scared that they would be dragged into drama if they did, there's no need for that I'm the community, we should all feel comfortable creating a feed that suits us and finding our own tribe.

  3. Loved every point that you made. Social media is already so toxic with call-out culture, politics, etc, and so of course we have every right to control what we want to see in our own feeds & timelines x

    1. Thank you hun 💕 I totally agree with you, there seems to be this atmosphere of people doing all they can to call people out or start over something absolutely silly.... since when was that the thing? Just leave people to it, if they are hurting people then yeah, I see the point but there's no need to be so hateful at times.

  4. Yes, yes, yes, 100% yes to all of this. I unfollowed a lot of people are various social media platforms recently and it honestly feels so good to have LESS stuff to scroll through and become distracted by.

    If they get uppity about it and unfollow me too, well, that's their issue and I've resolved not to worry about it. :)

    On The Cusp |

  5. I so agree I'm feel I can't unfollow people too and the thing is I have real friends on social media too and some always post negative things so I don't really want to follow them. Some post indirect taunts about things too. You should be able to unfollow people if you find there feed is no longer relevant to you or there is no interaction and nobody has the right to have a rant at you for that. I agree it can be it's exhausting and you should always put your mental health first. It's so true about friends, I would never ask someone else to sacrifice their mental well being for me. I have been told that I haven't been there enough for people and they claim they can be there for everyone depsite their own mental health not being great but I have learnt all those manipulation tactics and won't be falling for them any time soon. I agree choosing what you want to post and follow is your right.

  6. I know a lot of people say to just unfollow or block people to carve out your social media so you don't feel bad every time you look at it, but I'm like you, I'm afraid of any potential backlash so I don't do it!

    Julia // The Sunday Mode