What's the next step

A close up photo of a orange print that says sleep, drink coffee, kick ass, repeat. Sitting on a white marble desk

I started back college on Monday... it was a nerve wracking experience in so many ways because I realised, this is my last year with all these guys. That's when panic set in... this is my last year, what's the next step?



When I started this college course I knew what I wanted to do, I was firm in my decision of going into photography and progressing onto the photography HNC but after my first year was done, I was stumped because I enjoyed the side of filming a whole lot more and that just threw a spanner in the works, I was adamant I was going into photography, I had been dreaming of it for as long as I can remember and then that dream shattered as I found myself much more enthused about media and film. All through the HNC I tried to think about where I wanted to go with this, what career do I want to go for? I still haven't been able to make a choice. Now it's onto HND and this is really the time I have to make decisions. 


a over the shoulder photo of a girl with dreadlocks using a camera to film a boy who is in the background and blurred. The girl is wearing a Burgundy zipper and using a canon 6D camera, photo by Jordanne Lee

a black and white mid shot photo shot on a film camera by Andrew Dunn. This is a phot of myself looking through a camera view finder, taking a photo when on location filming.

an over the shoulder shot by myself, Jordanne Lee. Two girls standing talking about the film project. the girl on the right has a super dry hat  on, glasses and a white top. The girl on the left has dreadlocks and is looking through a camera

A black and white photo by Andrew dunn, a close up of a shot list with a man holding the paper and myself looking at the paper

A close up photo of the clapperboard that was used whilst filming my first solo short film by Donald Mcleod. The clapper is black and white with blue sky in the background.

After HND 

After the HND I have the choice of University or getting a job in the industry. Both these possibilities scare me slightly, I don't know if I'm ready for either of them, What if I can't get a job in this industry? What then? Was my time studying wasted? I have so many questions whizzing around my brain as I think about this subject, it scares me so much, the unknown. I have loved the security that college has given me, knowing what was happening, when, structure really. So when next June rolls around and I leave college I have a big decision to make, I just don't know how to make it. I don't think I have ever been this uncertain before, its terrifying to say the least. How do adults do adult things? In theory it's easy, in practise, not so much. 
A quote by myself which reads "I have no idea what the future hold" on thelifeofaglasgowgirl
I have no idea what the future holds for me, I hate this, it's scary and I would rather just stay at college, but I know we all have to move on and grow from our experiences instead of wasting that time worrying about what's to come. I know that when I'm graduating next year, I'll be as proud as punch because I done this, me, someone with chronic anxiety, depression and a chronic illness has survived college, I have gave my best and never given up. I can't wait till that day comes (ok, maybe I can) I'm chuffed for myself for what I've accomplished so far, I never imaged I would go back into education but I did it. I never imagined I would be doing a HND, but I am. 

It's a little new for me, so I'm going to take this slow and have the best time, I really don't want to look back on my years at college and regret the things I didn't do because I was too worried about tomorrow. If anyone has any tips on this whole adult thing, they would be much appreciated! 



Sign off graphic for blog post that says "Jordanne ox" on it, white background with pink writing.
Follow me on; Instagram | Twitter Facebook | Bloglovin  |  Youtube

A pinterest image that reads " Thelifeofaglasgwgirl.co.uk What's the next step - A lifestyle blog"

7 comments

  1. It’s so scary leaving anything, job, education, whatever, especially if you aren’t sure quite what the future holds. But it’s perfectly normal and ok to be scared! Just as its perfectly normal and ok to maybe not have a plan yet – I know I didn’t!

    One thing I’d say is even if you don’t go into what you maybe intended to, no education is wasted. You learn so many new things beyond the course itself, you grow as a person, and as much as anything it shows that you can learn new things.

    I’ll be honest, I’ve reached 28 and I still don’t know how adults do adult things! I’m pretty sure it’s just Googling stuff, and pretending we know what’s going on haha.

    Em xx

    www.emsworldblog.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree, it is scary, I'm really trying my best to not focus too much on it but my head is spinning. Realising that I'm not the only one who googles everything Haha that's always my go to.

      Delete
  2. Best of luck this last year!! I hope you manage to get some good internships & experience over this last year, and I'm sure you'll manage to get a job shortly after college xx

    brineandbooks.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much Macey, that's so kind of you :) I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I manage to get something x

      Delete
  3. I think it's really common to feel a bit lost and like you dont know what to do next. It's good though that your current course has helped you realise that you actually prefer the filming part to photography. I studied Graphic Design at university and part way through the course I realised it wasn't what I wanted a career in ... and honestly I'm still not 100% sure what I do what to do.
    Charlotte | https://www.charlotteshares.co.uk

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much for your comment, it puts my mind at ease to be honest! I know I'm overthinking it all, I just need to learn to go with the flow and trust I'll get something.

      Delete
  4. Firstly, I think it's fantastic that you've stuck with college and your course. Lots of people give up and drop out altogether. Secondly, whatever you decide to do, your time studying wwas in no way wasted. Education is more than lectures and coursework. It's about life experiences, stimulating a thirst for knowledge, and feeding your curiosity. Also about teaching you what you can do, as well as what you might prefer not to do. Whether you go on to uni or get a job, your experiences will be invaluable, no question. As for adulting, if you do find any secrets, please feel free to pass them my way too, haha! xx

    Lisa | https://www.lisasnotebook.com

    ReplyDelete