How to Help Your Child Adjust to a New Sibling
How to Help Your Child Adjust to a New Sibling + Free Printable’s!
Your new baby is here (or on the way), and you’re excited.
You’ve been dreaming about this moment your whole life, but now it’s finally here.
But what will happen when your child/children meet the new baby?
Will they feel jealousy or envy? Will they feel happy and excited?
These thoughts cross a lot of parents minds when a new child is on the way. It’s only natural that you begin to imagine all possibilities of what will happen when your children meet the new baby.
This is something I’ve thought about when getting that positive test (unfortunately we’ve never carried to full term). My mind races with all the thoughts of how my son would feel when the new baby arrives.
So, I wanted to share some pretty solid tips I’ve found over the years of soaking up as much information on how to prepare for another child.
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How to Help Your Child Adjust to a New Sibling
Let your child feel involved
It’s important that the children you already have feel involved with the whole process.
By bringing them into the bubble and getting them involved in different activities around preparing for the baby and looking after the baby, you’ll promote a real sense of belonging.
Here are some ways in which you can get children involved:
- Ask your child to help with sorting the baby’s room
- Let your child pick out clothes and toys for the baby
- Encourage your child help with diaper changes, bathing, etc.
- Plan activities for your children to do together
- Get your child involved with maternity photos
- Ask your child if they would like to start a routine of reading to the bump
Be excited and positive about the baby
Your child may be overwhelmed by all the changes, but you can help them by being excited and positive about the baby.
Make sure that when you are talking about the new baby in front of them that you keep things light hearted and positive.
This will help your children associate positive talk and thoughts with a new sibling.
Here are a few talking points to avoid:
- Don’t talk about how much you want to be back to normal in-front of your child. Although you may feel that and it’s perfectly valid, avoid brining it up in-front of children.
- Keep any worries you may want to talk about out of earshot of your children. This can make them worry as well and associate the new baby with how mummy or daddy is feeling.
- Don’t use any negative associations in regards to a new child. This may look like avoiding comparisons to their siblings.
Have realistic expectations about your child’s reaction
Sometimes we can get swept up in the magic of announcing a new baby that we forget that not everyone is going to feel the same.
Children may feel confused, nervous, angry, excited, cautious and the list goes on, and that is totally valid.
Make sure you have a system in place for your child to talk through their feelings with you. Take some one on one time to do a check in and get a gauge on how the news has made them feel.
Some children may be over the moon to be getting a new sibling whereas others may feel a sense of anger or nervousness. So, it’s important to not set any expectation.
Try telling children in private about the new addition to the family so they don’t feel pressure over a crowd rallying around.
This helps you speak to them in a calm environment and answer any questions they may have.
Free Feelings Printable for Children
To help aid you in talking to your child about their feelings and helping them work through those big emotions, I’ve created a set of free pintable’s.
There are three designs to choose from and each comes as a PDF with three pages.
Page 1 is the main sheet which I recommend laminating to be used over and over. Page 2 is cards to cut out with emotions on them. And page 3 has the tick and cross cards to cut out.
To get the best out of your chart print on white card for longer use and laminate if you can.
Fairy Feelings Chart – Download for Free
Dino Feelings Chart – Download for Free
Animal Feelings Chart – Download for Free
Encourage your child to do some chores with you
Keeping a routine and introducing responsibly to your child ahead of a new baby coming helps to cement feelings of being needed, wanted and part of the family unit.
Encourage your kids to do some chores with you as they are a great way for kids to be involved in contributing to the family, and it also teaches them responsibility.
Have an agenda for each day of the week (or month) as this will help your child understand what is expected of them in their daily rituals and routines with siblings.
This in turn helps them learn how to be part of an organized household.
It can be as simple as planning out meals or making sure everyone gets dressed appropriately before heading out the door each morning.
Try getting a chores chart or making one to keep track of the responsibilities everyone has in the house.
Read books about new siblings with your child
Reading books about new siblings can be a great way to help your child bond with the baby.
If you have time before the baby arrives, read a book together and talk about what they’re reading often.
There are lots of books out there that deal with this life change, but here are some of my top recommendations:
- My New Baby by Rachel Fuller
- You’ll Soon Be The Biggest Personalised Children’s Book by FromLucyandCo
- BIG THINGS: A Story for Older Siblings of C-Babies by Danielle L. Forbes
- We’re Having a Baby: Adapting To A New Baby by Campbell Books
- I’m a New Big Brother: A Pirate Pete book by Amanda Li and Melanie Williamson
- I’m a New Big Sister: A Princess Polly book by Amanda Li and Melanie Williamson
- The New Small Person by Lauren Child
- Noelle The Best Big Sister by Mikaela Wilson
- André The Best Big Brother by Mikaela Wilson
- What’s in Your Tummy Mummy? by Sam Lloyd
Have a plan for bringing new baby home
Having a plan of action when it comes to bringing your new baby home can really help make this new transition easier.
Think about thinks like:
- Where will your other children be, will they be with you or at a family members house?
- Is there a quiet area in the house for children to meet new baby?
- Do you have all food/house necessities in the house?
- Do you have a routine to stick to?
- Are you taking public transport or a car?
- Have you got a car seat?
- Do you have bottles, clothes and other baby items ready for using?
You don’t have to have a set in stone plan, but it does help to have something to work from so that everyone knows what’s happening.
Acknowledge that your child may be jealous at times while they adjust.
Acknowledge that your child may feel jealous at times while they adjust.
It’s normal for kids to feel jealous when a sibling joins the family, it shows that they care about their relationship with you and want to be included in things.
Like I said in the realistic expectations section, have a quiet place where you and your child can have one on one time. Maybe even use the free feelings chart to them navigate their feelings.
Jealousy is a valid feeling for children to free so it’s important not to shame them or give them into trouble for it. Put a good system in place where you can get in tune with your child’s feelings and help them work through them.
Also place importance of having one on one time doing activities like you would before another child came along.
Here are some activity ideas you could do together:
- Bruch at their favourite restaurant
- Cinema day
- Shopping trip
- Movie nights – For movie recommendations, click here!
- Ice skating
- Going to the Library
- Arts and crafts
- Long walk
- Feeding the ducks
Final Thoughts
As you can see, there are many ways to help your child adjust to a new sibling.
The key is to be patient and understanding with your child, while also providing them with enough love and support.
And remember: it’s not always going to be easy!
But if you stick together as a family through thick and thin (and maybe even throw in some ice cream), then everyone will reap the benefits of having a new addition to the family unit.
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