Let’s Talk Sex as a Mother | Mothers Shouldn’t Have Sex?
Let’s Talk Sex as a Mother | Mothers Shouldn’t Have Sex?
“MOTHERS SHOULDN’T HAVE SEX”
First off, we had to have sex in the first place to have our child/ren (This isn’t true for all MOTHERS though, I understand that) But basically, there was sex involved in some way for a child to be born in most cases and honey, it ain’t stopping there.
I’ve been reading some articles and posts online recently that have all centred around sex, people’s experiences and being silenced around the subject. So, it got me thinking, why are mothers in particular shamed for wanting to be seen as sexual as well? or why are we told NOT to talk about sex so openly?
Double Standards
Is it because society thinks we shouldn’t discuss it so openly? Is it because now we have another little human to take care of, how on earth can we be sexy? Like, why? Why is it I’ve seen people make comments like;
“You’re a mother, you shouldn’t be talking about sex”
Or
“You’re a mother, you shouldn’t be wearing a dress that tight”
Why do others feel the need to tell me how I should and should not feel? how I should or should not dress? and whether or not I have sex or… not. It’s MY body.
Enjoying Sex and wanting to be Sexy is OK
I am a human being. I enjoy sex. I enjoy feeling sexy. Just because I’m a mother does not mean I have lost all rights to feel good in my own skin and have an orgasm. Ok, so you think it shouldn’t be talked about, but why? And why is it that women In general talking about sex brings on a shit storm of unwanted comments and views from those people who believe a woman has no right to say how she feels or talk about sex as openly as a man does? Why is that?
I never see comments like “he’s a dad, he shouldn’t be talking about sex” and the worst part for me is most of these comments come from WOMEN. Not men a lot of the time, but other women. Like, why? WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY. Why?!
But these are the same women who would happily share a picture of Ryan Reynolds topless on their Facebook wall talking about how good he looks. Excuse me ladies but, he’s a dad? oh you know? O…ok, ok, got it. So it’s only ok for Dads/men in general to be lusted after?
But God forbid Blake Lively does a swimsuit photoshoot…. EHM, SHE’S A MOTHER SHE SHOULDN’T BE DOING THAT. GIRL! you literally posted a picture of her husband topless like 5 minutes ago, make it make sense!
This whole topic is mind boggling. I don’t understand that why, now that I’m a mother, I’m no longer allowed to feel sexy and have a good gab about that sex position I like or how many times we done it the night before while we actually had some alone time. Don’t get me wrong, before I was a mother it was pretty frowned upon for a woman to be mentioning the word sex and being so sure of herself, but I have noticed that since becoming a mother, that there’s this added “taboo” on top of it.
I wish that we as a society could just get on with our own life’s and stop worrying so much about what Helen at number 24 does with her partner at night whilst the little ones sleep. If Helen wants to get ravished by her man then tell the girls about how they actually managed to find some time to be intimate, then Helen has every bloody right. If Helen wants to go out at the weekends and get fucked on a one night stand, who are we to tell her no? If Helen wants to tell all the girls or guy pals about her favourite sex toys, then why can’t she?
(Helen is obviously being used as an example here but hopefully you catch my drift)
‘Well I guess I better go throw those condoms in the bin and get ready for my vagina to dry up because clearly I’m not allowed to have sex because you know, I’m a mother and all’
So, this is your reminder to let’s talk Sex as a mother, as a parent, as anyone, because this isn’t the 1800’s anymore. We shouldn’t feel ashamed to chat about these things, so ask your friends, Let’s Talk Sex as a Mother.
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Omgoodness those last two bits are great. I love this and can totally relate, having self confident issues I have been shying away from it all, not feeling sexy enough, looking so gross I'll turn him off all because I've had children and it's destroyed my body haha but I've come to learn It's my right to feel good in my skin and it's my right to do it without feelinh guilty haha
What a great blog post! I totally agree with you. Just because you become a mother, doesn't mean that your life stops then and there. I also don't see how people are gonna parent a healthy sexuality towards their children, if they teach them that sex is such a big no-no.
Emma
Loved this post so much, something not many people talk about but should! Every woman has the right to feel sexy and can do whatever they want, regardless of whether they have a kid or not, some people are just so judgemental!
Tiffany
Entertaining read, you have guts to write up a post and address an issue like this. You are very right though, it's ridiculous that we're shamed and taught that sex and being human is suddenly not okay if you're a mother.
I love this post! I think it is a topic that people need to talk about. I don't think being a mom should stop someone from being and feeling sexy. In my honest opinion I think that when you become a mom is when you need to feel sexy the most because from the moms I know that is when they are feeling the least sexy.
XOXO
Jordan
LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS POST!!!It's so true, it's taboo enough for girls to talk about sex never mind mums
Yes! I love this post! Mothers are allowed to have sex just as much as the next!
When I read the title of your post, I thought I was about to have to argue with you! When I read your post, I was extremely relieved to see that you were actually going against that statement. Great post, with great points!
Melina /
While I'm not a mother I fully agree with everything you said! Women shouldn't be seen as less sexually attractive when they have a child and it's stupid that they're shamed for their sexuality xx
This was so entertaining to read! Its so true- this is such a taboo subject for all women and I have no idea why! I’m not a mother myself but I definitely agree that just because you are a mother doesn’t mean you stop being the women you were before with the same wants and needs! Keep owning it girl !
Oh gosh I agree with this so much. I don’t know why people are so uptight about sex anyway. It would help a lot of people if everyone was just open about it.
Right?! Like what’s the big deal?
Agree with this so much. Society expects Mothers to lose so much of themselves once they have kids and excuse me, why? Being a Mother shouldn’t have any impact on who you are as a person, sexual or non-sexual.
A great article that highlights the double standards in our society.
Sex is a glorious and enjoyable experience that EVERYONE should enjoy, not just men or single, young women.