Let's talk | Body Confidence

extreme close up of Ofaglasgowgirl stretch marks on stomach

For as long as I can remember, being body confident isn't something I would say applies to me, although I'm trying to love my body the way it is, I can't help but get caught up in self-criticism every time I look in the mirror. 

Growing up I haven't been kind on myself in anyway, I find new problems every time I look in the mirror from feeling down about a new stretch mark that appears to my face having a mega break out. Yet when I voice any of this to my family or friends, they tell me that I'm perfect the way I am and that I need to stop putting myself down. I think it's easier to look at ourselves and criticise, to speak to ourselves in a way we would never dream of talking to someone else yet it's easy to pick our bodies apart without a second thought.

Although I can look at myself a little longer in the mirror now and not feel like a lump some days, I still struggle with my body image.

Body Confidence Quote - Self love quote
So, it's got me thinking, why are we so harsh on ourselves? Why do we find something different not to like day in and day out? And where did it all start?

From a very young age I feel that we are told that anything we do should be to impress others and it makes me sad to think, that we live in a world where most humans feel like they need to please others more than they should be pleasing themselves. I do think that the media plays a big part in all this though because ever since I can remember, all the magazines I read, all had articles about achieving the perfect look/body.

I used to buy magazines that were for younger girls when I was around 10/11 and even in them there were articles on how to get the "perfect guy" and hair styles to impress your friends. Although it may not sound that bad to some, it basically told me that whatever I did, should be to impress. So yes, from a young age I was being bombarded with different articles all about impressing others which to me, is very wrong.

It's no wonder young girls aren't playing barbies anymore in their rooms with their friends, at ages 10/11 like I used to when you see the amount of magazines and ads out there that are so easy to access, and it's not even magazines anymore, they all have access to the Internet.

The other day I was scrolling through Instagram where multiple ads popped up about getting that "summer body" by using unhealthy weight loss methods, products such as diet pills and detox teas are being glamourized, selling this idea that there is only one perfect body, that any other body shape or size is less than, not worthy and to me that's dangerous.

I feel that from an early age we are led to believe that a certain "look" makes you beautiful when that's not the case at all and that you should be doing these things to impress others rather than being taught about self-love, about how our bodies are magical and everything they do for us.



Looking back over my younger years, I realise that I wasn't listening to those closest to me when they told me I was perfect the way I was and that I don't have to aspire to have a body like anyone else. My gran was always my biggest supporter when it came to my body confidence, she often told me that I should love myself no matter what and I got complimented often from her and others around me from my inner circle, yet I still felt the need to limit my food, exercise till I was passing out and trying to find quick fixes to my problems, that I now know weren't the answer.

I put my body through all sorts of torture just to feel accepted by fellow school mates but no matter how hard I tried it didn't seem good enough as I still got teased about my weight or looks. I felt like I couldn't please anyone when I should have been trying to please myself. There are times where I still feel that I need to look a certain way to be considered beautiful, seeing lots of online ads that talk about the "perfect body" start to get to you after a while, especially when they are every second ad.

They talk about achieving they perfect booty, toning up your stomach so there's no "flab", about how to get rid of "thunder thighs", it's all too much to keep up with! And then there is the conflicting information; Lose some weight, but not too much, smile more, but get your teeth fixed, love yourself as you are, but change, wear some make up to enhance your look, but don't wear too much otherwise you will look silly, don't restrict your food, but go on a diet... It's all a bit much to keep up with is it not?

Although the media has been coming on in leaps and bounds lately in terms of more diversity being shown, there is still an avalanche of this stereotypical beauty ideal that is in near enough all magazines. On one page it tells you to embrace your body, be yourself and be happy with what you have, then on the next page there is an article on how to lose a few pounds to fit into that perfect little black dress.

Isn't it about time that we dictate what the ideal body for ourselves is?

Wither you are a size 2 or size 22, you are beautiful, all bodies are normal bodies. You deserve love, happiness and a fantastic life, whatever your size or shape. There needs to be more pictures of different sized bodies modelling clothes, in ads, in movies, on runways and any other place where children may look on and finally feel accepted. Maybe if there was more diversity when I was growing up, I wouldn't have such a skewed idea of what a healthy body looks like.



Talking about this topic has really helped me because I'm defiantly in a different frame of mind about my body now than when I started this post because I sort of realize that I shouldn't be harsh on myself, that I should celebrate myself as much as I want to celebrate other women, because how can I put this message across if I don't practice what I preach?

I'm a size UK 12/14 with big thighs, big boobs and a "mum tum", I have stretch marks and cellulite, some wobbly bits and rather prominent collar bones, and do you know what? I'm proud of that. It has taken a lot of years for me to get my head where it is right now and I'm glad I can finally say f**k it.

This self-love journey hasn't been easy, it probably won't ever be easy, but as long as I can have more good days than bad, then it's a win. I won't be letting ads determine how I view my body anymore.
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5 comments

  1. Great post. Always be you no matter what. You are perfect x

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  2. I love this post Jordanne, all bodies are beautiful and not let ads affect your state of mind in terms of what your body should look like! x

    Lucy | www.lucymary.co.uk

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  3. I definitely relate to this post. we are always told how to dress, what we should look like etc, and it makes us warp our own perception of what we looked like before.

    🌿 Marissa Belle × marsybun.com 🌿

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  4. I resonated with this so much. I have always struggled with my body image being bullied for a large majority of my life. It has also always been difficult when all of your friends are smaller than you and are the ones who have always gotten the stares. I'm working on loving myself all the time and it's for sure an up and down journey. I hope for more diversity because we need to show different images and views to the future generations.

    Deandra|theblackprincessdiaries.com

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  5. I remember the horror on Mike's face when he flicked through a magazine I had and saw all of pages dedicated to making us feel bad about ourselves. It's crazy, and the ads are even worse. I was looking at new running trainers not long ago, and then for weeks I was bombarded with ads about fad diets, weight loss pills and all kinds of rubbish.

    It's not an easy world to be body confident, but everything you've said is so true. We'll always have bad days, but that's ok, as long as we have more good days.

    Em x

    www.emsworldblog.com

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